ECO-Story A practical example of how eco-psychology can help you

THE ECO-STORY
I dream I see a elderly woman with gray hair slowly walking her way back into the school.  An alternative school which she helped start and has spent many years leading, guiding, teaching.  Within the last year, she has begun to make changes and she feels she is slowing down.  Her hip replacement has helped her feel physically better but she's still glad that she is no longer the head of the school.  As she walks in, there is a sense of loss, sadness, and of wondering who she is.  Her physical and possibly mental decline is sensed inwardly but is not very visible to others yet. Her heart is heavy yet filled with love for this very special school which she feels is part of her and it is. This school sustains her, excites her, disappoints her and yet fills a place in her life that could not be filled by the love of any person.

I see a man with a limp approach and fall in step with her.  He senses her sadness yet says nothing. She asks him how he is doing.  He says, "funny you should ask, I learned something interesting recently and I've been wanting to share with somebody. Could I share with you?"  Conscious of her responsibilities back in the school she asks how much time it will take.  He replies that it will only take as much time as she wants it to.  And they can stop at any time and she can can continue later.  The man asks her to tell him, what is her favorite area outside the school.  She replies that she has always loved the big old tree beside the playground.  The man suggests that they go over and have a visit with the old tree.  Upon arriving at the old tree, the man says.  I've recently come to the conclusion that when we are attracted to something in nature, that it can be more significant than just beauty.  I would like you to consider that your attraction to this tree is a biological relationship between you and some aspect of nature.  I would like you to consider that you have senses that are built to notice this relationship and it registers in your awareness as a natural attraction.  I would like you to consider that this attraction is a form of love.  I found it helpful for me to see that attraction as nature inviting me to stop and enjoy this moment, for nature wants to share something with me.  You're feeling of attraction is on a feeling sensation level and literally is expending you an invitation to be here.  I'm going to ask one thing of you and whenever you "feel" you are done.  Stop, thank nature and the tree and go on with your school life.  I'm asking you to notice what you "feel" not "think" and see then wait and see if what you "feel" translates later into an insight or thought or language.  Note this insight and later please come share it with me. When I did this something very interesting happened and I would like am overly curious to see what will happen for you.

After school, the woman finds the man outside under the tree and asks him what happened when he had his visit with nature.  Here is what's he told her. 

I was feeling very depressed about the economy. And the loss of moral ethics in our leaders.  I went outside to see what I was attracted to.  And as I walked along I saw a butterfly, I followed the butterfly over to the weeds along the fence line.  I lost the butterfly, and asked again what am I attracted to now.  I noticed a Caterpillar as I watched the Caterpillar, I was reminded of the transformation a Caterpillar makes when becoming a butterfly.  I remembered learning that a Caterpillar consumes three times its weight in food to gather in the energy needed to sustain its chrysalis transformation to its new life.  It occurred to me in that moment, that this was exactly what was happening in the financial markets in 2,009.  That the consumption of vast resources of money and things was literally symbolic of humanity taking in to be enough energy to sustain it through its own transformation culturally and maybe spiritually.  My depression about the future of the united states and world lifted because I now saw the problems as simply part of the birth pains of evolution, not end times.  With greater hope, I have been living this last week and been wanting to find someone to share my experience with.  When I saw you walking in earlier today, I hoped that I might find somebody who would understand my insight and rejoice in it with me.  Thank you for allowing me to share my visit with the nature with you.  It has been a very curious week for me as I've tried to understand what happened and why.  Do you have anything you would like to share from your visit?  I would love to to return the favor and listen to anything at all about your visit with nature, no matter how unusual it might seem to you.

The lady replied, "Well, You left me by the tree with many thoughts".  I was comfortable being near the tree but I did not really understand what you wanted to me to do.  I remembered you saying to notice how I "felt" and what I was attracted to.  I suddenly no longer felt comfortable being near the tree. This surprised me and I turned to go.  As I turned, to go I tripped over a stick and fell down.  Somewhat angry at you, I wondered if my fall would disturb my hip replacement.  As I lay there I started to notice many small new tree sprouts, all of them children of the large old tree I love so much.  It made me feel good. I thought that with so many trees sprouts surely some of them would grow and have a long life like the mother tree.  I must have laid there for quite some time just feeling good among the little tree sprouts.  I thought it was fortunate that my hip was not hurting and I decided it was time to get up.  Before I walked away I felt some moment of gratitude towards the tree and its children so I stopped and thanked them.  In that moment, I felt more connected to everything and I realized a parallel between my situation in life here at the head of the school and the tree.

Both of us had built environments to nurture and grow children.  Just as surely as some of the tree sprouts would survive, so would some of the children who went to the school to continue to spread the methods of loving to learn and playing to create.  My stepping down as head of school and doing less was really about opening up the sky for more sunshine and rain, so that others could contribute and reach their highest potential.  Now my sadness for myself became happiness for the sky I created and opportunity that I created by "not" doing things for the school.  I don't know if this is what was supposed to happen but I am no longer angry at you for leaving me by the tree.  I find now that I am less likely to define myself as having value for the things that I used to do as head of school, nor do I define myself as needing to lead or be a leader, or a standard bearer for the school.  I find that I am more likely to define myself as a mother strong enough to let go and set others free, and to define myself as a strong foundational platform which allows others to stand on my shoulders and see further. 

At this point the man suggested, is it possible that you now see yourself as a a torch bearer who did a "great" run and it is now passing on your light to others, and and maybe even a light "bearer" up who has spawned many lights to carry on, in fact, so many new lights that the success and failure of the school is no longer dependent on the success or failure of your light. And if I might be so bold, I would suggest you consider yourself a visionary who successfully brought an new idea into physical form. 

The lady replied, "Yes, it is easier now for me to see myself as a promoter of children's self esteem, and as entering a new life phase where I am a excellent listener, a curious promoter, a supporter of positive projects."  After a long pause, then she cautiously added,  "And I realize and value that I blazed a path bright enough and long enough for others to follow and make it self sustaining.  Yet I am very curious and wish to ask you if you have any ideas why this change in me happened and how? 

Boy that's a question I've been thinking about all week. One thought is that by tapping into what you are attracted to, you allowed your own constant mental chatter to stop long enough for your subconscious non-verbal brain to communicate to your conscious verbal brain. The other idea is that God made nature and made us to be in nature and that the easiest method for God to talk to us is through nature.  When we finally stop using language and start using feeling, we begin to open ourselves to communion with God.  In short, following your the sensory attraction can lead you to an area in nature where such communion is positive and beneficial to our unfulfilled needs.  Following your natural attractions is an ancient and revered method of learning and healing that survived many century's of survival testing.  Natural attractions and curiosity are bio-logical language skills which are innate but no longer practiced because we favor and spend a majority of our time indoors and with written language skills instead of out doors and intuitive sensory feeling skills.  I know of no way to prove this with science and fact but this method of attraction seems to be replicatable by those who are interested in trying.  Regardless of how, your re-casting of the story into a positive growth image, created a internal change in you.  Is that right?  Does it seem good? Would you wish to repeat it?

Also, I'm very glad that you shared your experience with me.  Because as you did so I had a new thought.  That it's quite possible this method may be easier way for people to meditation with much the same benefits.

I'm going to end my dream story here with a quote.

I believe in God, only I spell it nature.
Frank Lloyd Wright

connect with nature, laugh often, love much,
Clark Mumaw crmumaw@yahoo.com